Just 19 funny tweets about becoming an adult




















15 big-footed lady problems

1. When one of your smaller-footed sistren complains about wearing size 8 shoes and your eyes roll all the way around in your skull.

2. When you go shoe shopping and the “size 11-13” section is full of cobwebs and your options are narrowed down to two pairs of tan pointy heels from 1996 and a lonely left tennis shoe.

3. Speaking of pointy heels, WHY EVEN MAKE THEM FOR BIG-FOOTED LADIES? It’s unnecessary additional length, people.

4. When you try and convince yourself you can fit into a size 9 (because of the aforementioned better options just three feet to the left of the “size 11-13” section) and you suck in your gut, hoping to somehow also suck in two inches of foot.

5. Sometimes it takes three days to put on a pair of skinny jeans over your feet.

6. You heard all the mean nicknames in the book for having big feet during your school days. “Boat feet,” “flippers,” “skis,” “oars,” we get it; our feet resemble outdoor sporting equipment.

7. When you go bowling with some friends who don’t know you that well, and you whisper your shoe size to the person behind the counter. And of course, they don’t offer the same quiet courtesy, so they say something along the lines of, “HERE’S YOUR SIZE TWELVES!” and plop them onto the counter, which causes a minor earthquake.

8. Packing fills you with dread because you realize your suitcase is half-full after you’ve only packed two pairs of shoes.

9. “One size fits all” is just a sick joke.

10. Your no-show ankle socks are true to their word though — they never show because they constantly fall down in your shoe. Ugh.

11. Tripping on your own feet is just a normal Friday afternoon activity at this point.

12. Forget swimming at a public pool. The first time some kid sees your feet in all their sockless glory, they’re bound to say whatever is on their mind, such as, “Wow, that lady has Sasquatch feet!” or “I bet you could fit into my dad’s shoes.”

13. You can never wear brightly-colored shoes. And FORGET about wearing red shoes unless it’s Halloween and you’re dressing up as Krusty.

14. Wearing a snug pair of high heels for a date night? There will be blood.

15. And finally, you’ve been scolded or shamed for picking up the remote with your toes — and accurately turning up the volume.

Why getting a dog was right for me

I’m a dog person and I always have been.

A year and a half ago, I went into a dog shelter to help my mom pick out a new puppy. Unbeknownst to me, within the first five minutes I would make a spontaneous decision to pick out a puppy of my own: Steven (not to be confused with my husband Steven who I met later on 💁). Through the good times and the bad, having a Labrador for a roommate was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Realizing it’s not for everyone, here are some of the reasons why getting a dog was the right decision for me:

1. It’s good for my health – mental and physical.

I go on multiple walks every day with my pup. My husband, the dog and I go to parks and beaches, walk around tracks, and go for hikes. I probably wouldn’t have done nearly as many outdoor activities if it weren’t for him. The pup has also acted as a great therapy dog as far as cuddles after long days at work go.

2. He’s taught me patience.

While I’m pretty sure I’m the one supposed to be teaching patience, Steven has taught me to quite literally stop every so often to smell the roses. Together, we enjoy the simple things in life.

3. I’m now a much better actor.

I’m good at talking about how great my dog is to strangers at the park while knowing Steve ran full speed into a wall earlier that day.

4. I no longer obsess over material objects.

When I first adopted 3-month-old Steve, he chewed nearly everything he could sink his sharp little teeth into: phone chargers, shoes, books, remotes. One time I caught him chewing on a rock. His destructive behavior made me go bonkers. He eventually stopped (now he only occasionally chews on rolls of toilet paper), and along the way, I learned to place books on higher shelves and shoes in the closet. More importantly though, I learned that my stuff is exactly that — just stuff.

5. I finally have things to post on Instagram.

He’s so gosh darn photogenic. And I’m sure my friends love seeing pictures of my dog every five minutes. Maybe.

As cheesy as it sounds, my dog is my best friend and I’m grateful for him every day.

Do you have a pet? Let us know why you value them as a member of your family in the comments.